Pay a Compliment #TangyThoughts@tomatoes

I was sad being at work today. Just one of those days were you are moody for no reason. And mind you, it is not easy to deal with my temperament during such days.

I had hell lot of e-mails to reply to and a deadline to meet, thirty minutes into the routine. And to top it all, I was pretty sad at the idea of working on all the Sundays in August. How can a manager say that since my husband is away, I wouldn’t have to take care of my family, that I can sacrifice my weekends and be at work? I have a life too! The icing on the cake came in when my client requested me to extend my work and do a 12-hour shift too on a Sunday in August as if working on Sundays wasn’t enough! Though I’m in the good books of all my clients, this request actually made me feel blue. It is not about extending a few hours more. It’s about working from 6am to 7pm, plus two more hours for the commute as well. Oh yeah, and to be at work by 5am the next day. I’m dreading to step in to the next month, you know!

My cake also had a cherry on top. Months ago, I had a fight with a dear friend of mine. He eventually stopped talking to me. I’m not dwelling into the details about who is wrong and what can be done to sort things out. Apparently, my previous post was dedicated only to him, thinking he would read and at least then take a step to clear the air or give a closure if that’s what is necessary. While many asked me to just let go of things I can’t change, I should say, I hate loose-ends, the unresolved tension. As ChilledMom rightly said, it is exhausting. True that nobody asks you to wait. But it is not that way, right? Either you put a full-stop to end or put two to continue.. Anyway, I saw that he has shared something on his Wall mentioning people’s loyalty change according to their needs. Is that so? That very thought is quite disturbing.

Oh, forget all this. I clearly wasn’t intending to blabber this way. All I wanted to say was that I had a bad start to the day and I thought nothing would make me happy or smile. I was showered with honest compliments from my colleagues mentioning that I have pretty eyes, an innocent face, infectious smile and even gorgeous hair (of course, followed by, “Mallus are blessed with good looks!). I wasn’t even in a mood to argue today for the so-called cultural discrimination though it was something positive which they said this time.

I also received appreciation mails from my clients mentioning I write good emails. Now, that’s not a surprise though! I was often referred to as the “Mistress of Letters” among my friends. I CAN write LONG emails/letters, esp when I have the blues!

But no, I was still upset. So, what did I do? I just plugged in my earphones, started my playlist of “Sappy songs to sob to” (I do have a playlist like that! Don’t believe me? Check my phone! ) I made sure that I didn’t turn it in a loud volume as I wanted to know if my Manager calls to negotiate my week-offs.

Then after sometime, I heard a colleague of mine saying to another, “Shalini is nice. She is good from the heart!” He clearly was under the impression that I was not hearing him. That was the Eureka moment of the day- to hear someone say good things about you behind your back. Made me feel so proud, you know! It’s not that, this guy was a good friend of mine. I have hardly talked to him. And I have always had a fair share of difference of opinion with many as well.

“I can live for two months on a good compliment.”

– Mark Twain

We live in a narrow-minded world. Hop onto a metro, you’ll find people plugged in to their phones. Sit down for a cup of coffee, they are glued to their books. You simply don’t have time to even stand and gaze. But, doesn’t it make one happy to hear a compliment? Like an immediate boost to your mood? Who knows, it might even make someone’s day! You’ve likely gotten them when you’re a knockout in that flattering dress, or when your hair is flipping the right way at the right time on the right day. Didn’t you feel just great?

So, why do we then be so frugal and miserly in offering some? Maybe, we are too busy noticing what is wrong about you, the world, and others, that you forget to notice what is right and beautiful. Maybe, you feel undeserving of compliments and kindness. Or the worst, that you are self-absorbed and you see everyone as a competition.

But by giving an applause or a compliment you bring people closer, thereby the relationship. I’m not asking you to flirt with some random guy who throws off a scary vibe. It’s just that it makes your heart warm and nice. Nothing makes a person feel better about themselves than a thoughtful appreciation.

Are you game to take up this small task of giving a compliment to someone today? Your loved one or a stranger? Who knows just like mine, you would have transformed somebody’s crappy day! Let me know, how you and the other felt! 🙂

P.S: Please be genuine and natural!

P.P.S: The author is not fishing for compliments, though they are most welcome!

P.P.P.S: Thanks for dropping by. You are just AMAZING!

Comments

  1. That’s the best kind of compliment – something that you over hear. That’s the only I kind I would KNOW to be true because it’s not said to my face. I can completely see why it cheered you up.
    PS: You do have a lovely smile even if I say it to your face.

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  2. Shalini,
    “Shalini is nice. She is good from the heart!” He clearly was under the impression that I was not hearing him. That was the Eureka moment of the day- to hear someone say good things about you behind your back. Made me feel so proud, you know! It’s not that, this guy was a good friend of mine. I have hardly talked to him. And I have always had a fair share of difference of opinion with many as well.
    YOUR FRIEND TOLD YOU ON YOUR BACK, I AM SAYING IT, IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE, YOU ARE TOO GOOD, TO HAVE A SUCH A GOOD FRIEND IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING FEELING.
    WISHING YOU ALL THE BEST………

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  3. Sincere compliments are the best – they definitely make my day whenever they happen! That was so nice that you got to hear one when they didn’t think you were listening.

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  4. Pay it forward… sometimes that simple act can bring back the smile on one’s face. In the end, it isn’t ever the grand gestures that carry us through on bad days but the smallest moment, an innocent comment or act, that gives us the strength to carry on through the rest of the day. Have experienced it a lot through my bad days so I know exactly what u mean

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  5. Oh, though I feel sad that you have to work on Sunday, but I know you will sail through it. And be sure that we are always here your stories (read rants) from your experiences. Hearing you, I am a little scared to step into that big corporate world!
    And yes, you really write very well. words just flow. 🙂

    P.S: Loved this: “Either you put a full-stop to end or put two to continue.. “

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