.. and Life Goes On..

Yesterday was day 1 in a new apartment with new roomie. Unlike me, she had to be at work and I was home house alone (can’t call that room of bricks as home) from dawn to dusk, crying myself to sleep. My husband has left as part of work, may be for two years. There was no time even for a proper good-bye. Packing and moving the entire home, the car, bike and all that comes attached, the documents, things I need to take with me to the new apartment, the rent, the lease, flight tickets, the booking, the re-scheduling, God! Absolute Chaos! And believe me, it has only begun. The first transfer/shifting after my wedding to the Olive Green. It also is the first separation, just a start to the many that will come by, more or less like a routine every two-three years.

Even while I was in the verge of tears, trying to hold myself from sobbing in front of his subordinates, I had to put on a brave face, smile warmly and thank each of them for their help and support. I had to wish his superior Officer a very happy birthday, convey my regards to his wife and kids and even his dog without forget, do courtesy calls to the senior ladies, assuring them that I will be in touch even when I knew it was unnecessary.

There was a time in life when I was overwhelmed by the mammoth amount of pampering which I received in the form his love and care. I lived a life of comfort , privilege and respect and I needn’t have to bother about any petty things that came in my life’s way. Well, even the routine grocery purchase for home was cherished with utmost love because of his busy schedule and mine.These should however be considered a fortune in one’s life, that I could live the life of a queen. But I loved my independence, the freedom of going out alone for shopping or taking a walk on the country roads or exploring the city. It’s just that these were wrapped and delivered in fancy gift papers, tied with a golden bow.

Oh I did complain! When I first knew that he had to be away for two years and more, though in my sadness I believed it was an opportunity to be my old self, the career-oriented, independent woman. He respected my opinion of staying back for work and not joining him.

It was one hell of a day, today. My cab didn’t come to pick me up and for the first time after my wedding, I booked a cab to reach the office. My manager had the balls to ask me why I hadn’t reached on time even though clearly the transport administration is not my issue to deal with. He had the audacity to point fingers at me for not booking a private cab early in the morning at five o’ clock. One complaint is all that is needed to sack him and yes I did that, though in my utmost humility and politeness I sent an email copying all the higher heads and informing to take care of my security and responsibility if I have to be at work at wee hours in the morning by a private cab. Things were far from worse as I took a wrong bus and ended up at another corner of the city than my new apartment. If it was a day before, I would have simply dialed in his number to either drop me to office or pick me back home.

I took an auto, reached the apartment and then walked. Walked to discover new shops, the beauty parlor (Oh, I got a cool haircut even 😉 ), the chicken and eggs shop, the super market, restaurants, hospital, medical shops and so on. I even found a gym/zumba/aerobics/yoga class too. Who knows, may be I will even take it up! And now here I am, rambling.

I have been offered some free unsolicited advice worth every cent you pay for it and less. Or sympathies which are uncalled-for. You should quit your job, Family should come first, Oh God, what an opportunity to stay with him in peace for two years and you are throwing it away? You should take a transfer to Delhi (even if it means I should deal with some worst nightmares), and the worst, why did he decide to abandon you?

Let me ask. Is it worth all this fuss?

“There is strong. There is Army strong. And then there is Army Wife Strong.

– Aditi Mathur Kumar, Soldier and Spice-an Army Wife’s Life

I don’t know if mulling over the decision I took would help me. And I clearly do not know what life has in store for me. May be, I will quit and run back to the safety of his arms. May be, I will stay back as long as I can. But, I’m definitely going down a rocky road this time, afraid to take even one step at a time, as if life has come to a stand still. But I guess, it just goes on… irrespective of the choices you make.

Am I being overly dramatic? Well, sort of.

Comments

  1. The bond and the love makes one stronger to tide through toughest times.
    “There is strong. There is Army strong. And then there is Army Wife Strong.” This is an apt statement.

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  2. As u said life goes on…Stay strong as always …

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  3. First of all hugs!!! Secondly, don’t bother with what people say. Respect to you for this decision and if your husband is supportive of this who cares! I can understand how much it hurts though, the missing! Was in a similar situation myself. Just 3 months back I quit my job and moved to London to be with hubby. I so miss being independent, you know financially. Miss miss my job but this is a decision I took and though there are certain moments in a day when I think ‘what if’, I know if given a chance again I would have taken the same path. Trust yourself and stay happy. Lv

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  4. You are brave Shalini! i couldn’t have done it I guess! I hope two years fly away as quickly as you want, and you both are together. Btw, which city are you in? Still Pune?

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  5. shanayatales says:

    A very brave decision, Shalini. Change is always difficult, but when you have to go through it alone, it gets tougher. But you are one strong lady. I am sure you will get through this. Take care and stay strong dearie. 🙂

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  6. This is very effective writing. Very visual and makes us want to help you in your difficulties, but you are certainly an independent woman!! Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Oh this is a brave decision for sure. It’s hard to not have someone to depend upon all the time and it’s harder to go without him once you’re used to the love and care but I’m sure you’ll settle in and may even learn to enjoy your independence, who knows.Good luck.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Lata Sunil says:

    Shalz, surely you are very strong-willed. But if it makes you happy to be career oriented, so be it. Others can judge as much as they want. Hope both of you are happy with the decision. And two years will fly by soon. It is better than being bound at home alone and thinking of what you are missing.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Exactly what I thought. I could’ve just quit and gone with him. But then I would’ve regretted that I did not even give a try 🙂 Thanks, Lata for your kind words.

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  9. Don’t worry, u shall do fine and guess, it’s a drastic change. Oh! Some office managers are plain assholes and there is no dearth in my office. Keep hanging on and good thing you sent an email.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. You took a very brave decision. Stay strong. It will hurt at times but things will get a bit as you go along too.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Dont worry, thins would settle down soon,,, once the emptions settle down too..

    Liked by 1 person

  12. When there is drama in your life, of course there will be emotion. In your situation, many things will come up that you will have to make decisions. My only advice, as always in these situations is this: Do not make any decision based on emotion. Think on it, sleep on it, weigh the pros and cons.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. A strong woman you are indeed! People keep telling all sorts of things and that shouldn’t bother you. Stay positive 🙂 Keep smiling 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Life has to go on..sometimes without him and sometimes with him. I am not an Army officer’s wife but as an elder (which I guess I am), this would be my suggestion. Take every day as it comes and live every moment. Take care! Smile often!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. My dearest Shalini, I know how it is to feel the pangs of separation and I also know the feeling of taking this kind of a decision, so my empathy is completely in your corner. It’s not easy to do and you are one gutsy gal for taking it forward this way. Stay positive as always and remember we are all here for you. As for the ones who talk, let them. They can never understand the reasons behind these decisions. Much love and hugs to you ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  16. kalpana solsi says:

    You aren’t being a drama queen. The sudden displacement takes its toll but with time you will learn to handle small routine matters in an organised way. And you will enjoy your freedom.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Ahh, a member of the Olive Green Family! 🙂 I really dig that quote. Army Wife Strong, indeed! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Shalini this is really sad.I can understand your feelings. Be brave.This will pass.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Don’t mull over your decision, if your husband respects it then it doesn’t matter what others say. It’s very tough to stay away from your partner, I mean I cannot even imagine living away that long … but sometimes life throws curved balls, and it depends on us whether we get bowled or strike a sixer. I wish you my very best 🙂 Don’t lose heart 🙂

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  20. Cheer up. It is well! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Too much like mine…
    Though in course of time I decided to quit….
    Either ways its going to be tough…
    Juggling with your emotions and haggling with your inner self…
    At some point of life every woman faces this….
    Hugs,take care and you will sail through…

    Liked by 1 person

  22. stay strong shhalz

    Liked by 1 person

  23. I don’t know what twist of fate is going on but you are now the 8th person I know whose life has involved a shift in career and location to an entirely new area in the last 30 days. And that does not include me.
    Blame it on Jupiter and Venus or that heart shaped Pluto, I guess.

    As for you, its scary being in this position and wondering about the days ahead and how things have changed… I know. Just take heart and believe that this is leading you both to a wonderful tomorrow. Cherish the moments more because you know above everyone else how valuable they are

    Liked by 1 person

  24. That’s a lot to take, but I’m sure you are strong enough to handle it. As for me, I left the job and went with my husband and it made sense to me (only me not others) as he was leaving to the US 20 days after our wedding.I miss working and the career woman tag but if I have to do it again the choices will be the same. 🙂 I’m sure how you choose to navigate in your life will be right for you, Shalini. Of course, the after effects of changes will soften in due time and you will be back to your happier self in no time. Hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, sweetheart. I know and if I was given a choice now, I would have run back to him 😛 Well, let’s see if he will miss me. I will then go to him. What say 😉

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  25. You’re a strong woman. You’ll settle in. Yes, absence makes the heart grow fonder. But it hurts too. Even if it is temporarily. Stay Strong, Shalini 🙂

    We all like a little bit of ‘drama’ – in response to to your closing line 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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